newborn hands royal baby archie of meghan and harry
Babies

They’ll never parent like common people…..

I like Meghan and Harry a lot. And I love that squidgy new baby. I also appreciate what they’ve done by eschewing any royal title and by giving their little boy an unusually ‘un-royal’ name (minus the Mountbatten-Windsor bit of course, because that does sound very fancy). I get it and I think it’s a welcome and bold move. But here’s the thing: titled baby or not, Meghan, Harry and Archie are royalty, and so, to paraphrase the great Jarvis Cocker, they’ll never live like common people. In fact, Meghan and Harry will never parent like common people either. And here’s why:

1. They’re highly unlikely to ever Google the words ‘next Asda baby event‘, and there’s no chance of catching them wandering down the baby aisle pushing a trolley packed to the brim with nappies and wipes, just so they don’t miss out on all the best offers. Because anyway, you can never have too many nappies and wipes, and as every parent will tell you, ‘they’ll always come in…’

2. They’ll never have to heave a newborn car seat into the back of a 3 door Ford Fiesta in the world’s tightest parking space, taking care not to damage the paintwork of the adjacent car, all the while muttering expletives to themselves about the childseat-less van in the Parent and Child space.

3. They’ll never have to answer the front door in their pyjamas at 3.30pm because they just didn’t have the energy or the will to get dressed after their baby was awake the entire night, and Amazon has chosen today of all days to deliver the random purchases they’ve been making on their phone between 1am and 5am every night for the past week. Because as all parents of newborns know, the most pointless stuff becomes an absolute must-have at 2.45am on your 16th consecutive night of NO SLEEP AT ALL. Everyone needs a strawberry huller, right?

4. They’ll never have to make that first visit to the baby and toddler group at their local community centre. Alone. They’ll never have to stand at the doorway and gaze upon the sea of frazzled parent faces, rampant toddlers and crying babies, and wonder why the NCT never told them about this part.

5. They won’t be living on a diet of chilli or spaghetti bolognese for what seems like forever, because these were the only two meals they could be bothered to batch cook before the baby came, and there’s not a cat in hell’s chance that they’ll be able to even contemplate making a healthy meal from scratch for at least the next two months. And as parents of babies know, takeaway delivery is not an option, because that would involve every new parent’s nemesis: the doorbell. (Although it’s easy to forget your fear of the doorbell between the hours of 1am and 5am every night – see a point 3).

So you see? Meghan and Harry are likely to miss out on some of these more ‘delightful’ aspects of parenting a newborn. But really, who cares? They’ve got their little Archie who will be their world. They’ll no doubt suffer the sleep deprivation of all new parents (although they’ll probably manage to look fairly good for it!) and they’ll still have those moments when they worry that they’re doing everything wrong. We may not bump into them at Asda’s next baby event or down at the local baby group, but as far as their love (and worry) for their baby goes, they’re probably not that different to the rest of us after all.

Although I doubt they’ll be buying a strawberry huller……

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47 thoughts on “They’ll never parent like common people…..”

  1. Great post. While they will not experience all the joys of parenthood that many of the rest of us do, parenting is different for everybody anyway. I am pleased to say that I have never changed a non-disposable nappy, nor would I know how to! They will get far more help and support than most of us, but isn’t finding a way through parenting when your back is against the wall part of the journey?

    1. I agree. And hard as it is, if we didn’t have to battle through all the sleepless nights and exploding nappies, we’d have nothing to look back and laugh about!

    1. I just think that for all they’ll get a lot of help, nothing can take away the worry that all parents of newborns have when they’re suddenly responsible for a new little life.

    1. Haha, that’s probably true. And she can probably afford to choose her delivery slot so she doesn’t get disturbed at a bad time!

    1. That’s true, I’m sure they both have the same basic worries as the rest of us about their new baby.

    1. I think I probably would have done if I’d had the option! Even just one or two nights a week would have been quite nice….

  2. Great post, I had my first baby around the same time as Kate Middleton, and I was seriously wishing I had a nanny to help, but I like bring able to go to the park with my breakfast and some snot on my jumper and not have to worry about cameras
    #ItsOK

    1. I had my first around that time too and used to mutter things under my breath like ‘I bet Kate Middleton’s not going through this’. But you’re right, at least we don’t have to worry about people watching us all the time – although I’d probably have coped with it if it meant a few nights of undisturbed sleep!

  3. I imagine they will have to miss out on lots of the good stuff too. I did notice that Harry is already back on official engagements. It’s not possible for them to live a normal life but they seem to be doing a good job of trying to stay in touch with the real world where they can. #KCACOLS

    1. I agree with you. It’s easy to think they’re so privileged but that doesn’t come without a price.

  4. This is so true, they are 8b a completely differ by set up to most. I can 8magine having pros and negatives that comes with that statues X #kcacols

  5. These are some great points. I don’t see them missing much sleep. Chances are high they will have nannies who attend to the baby at night for them so they are well rested for their daily tasks.
    However, I do believe that they will have the same parenting doubts as we have. Regardless of a parent’s passage in life, we all worry about our kids well being.
    #KCACOLS

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  6. Do you think Meghan will go a week without washing her hair? Nevermind two or three? I mean, she won’t have to worry about the baby’s well-being for the 5 minutes it takes to stand under a shower and wash that gross breast-milk smell off you! No she won’t, because she’ll have people (numerous) standing there to ensure he precious baby survives without her for 5 whole minutes even if daddy is travelling away in another country for work!
    *breathe Carly!*
    #itsok

  7. Hahaha, love the way this post is written. More so because it’s all so true! Parenting will be oh-so-different for them – with all that help, no wonder Kate and Will are on a baby-producing spree! Thanks for joining us on #itsok

    1. Haha that’s true – although even with all the help in the world, I don’t think I’d have more than two children!

  8. Firstly this is probably the best blog post title I’ve ever seen! Secondly you’re absolutely right! I feel sorry for them in a way because the option is completely taken away from them to just be a regular family. I guess the vast fortune helps with that pain though ? #kcacols

  9. If I had their money and staff I wouldn’t do half those things either! I just can’t see Harry dashing out to the 24-hour garage in his dressing-gown for nappies, can you? #ItsOK

    1. I know what you mean. Their experiences of early parenthood will certainly be very different to most.

  10. I know it’d never happen but I love the thought of Meghan texting her Mum pals, or should that be Mom pals, to ask when the next 25% off TU clothing is at Sainburys! hehehe #KCACOLS

  11. I love this! Of course baby Archie won’t be bought up like the rest of our babies, but he is loved and at the end of the day that is all that matters (though I would love to see Meagan’s late night Amazon purchases lol).
    #KCACOLS

  12. It’s a different world, that’s for sure! With ups and downs, just not quite like ours. They may not have money worries or childcare problems, but having to follow the rules and stick to protocol all the time, and deal with the paparazzi is probably not such fun. #kcacols

    1. I’m sure there are plenty of downsides for them, and I still think I’d rather struggle to get that car seat into the back of my car and feel exhausted day in day out than be in their position – although a good night’s sleep would be nice!

  13. Oh the doorbell! I remember my obsession (actually my 2 year old still naps in the afternoon so it hasn’t gone away yet). I was tempted to tape a sign above it saying “please don’t ring the bell, baby asleep” but I didn’t have the nerve. I probably should have. They’ll also never have to carry him out of a shopping centre screaming and legs flailing because he refused to hold Meghan’s hand in any shop she went into while she was trying to browse. Yeah they’re missing all the best bits aren’t they??!!

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