blackboard question words and question mark
Parenting

Do mermaids wear pants? (And 4 other things I never thought I’d need to know)

Having children brings lots of things. It brings heart-swelling love and heart-stopping worry. It brings sleepless nights and exhausting days. And it brings a heck of a lot of washing and ironing.

But most of all, it brings questions. And many of them. Little B is partial to a question or 37,232 per day. I love and encourage her curiosity, but sometimes she poses questions that would confound even the finest minds, let alone Google. I’ve been keeping a note of my favourite questions so far and in no particular order, here are my current top five, complete with my (often poor) attempt at a response:

1. Do mermaids wear pants?

To be frank, I have no idea and I haven’t Googled this one, simply because I’m afraid that I might get the kind of responses I wouldn’t want in my search history.

Response: A non-committal ‘I don’t think so’

2. Why did Mr Bojangles’ dog die?

old dog lying down
He may look like this, he may not

Little B, admittedly quite unusually for a 4 year old, is partial to a bit of Sammy Davis Jr in the car.

Her current favourite song is Mr Bojangles, which we’ve been listening to over and over (and over) again, for the past couple of weeks. For those not familiar with Mr Bojangles, it’s a song about a dancer who travelled around, performing in shows for a few years. Then, critically, ‘his dog up and died’.

What happens to Mr Bojangles after this point is of no consequence Little B, because all she wants to know is absolutely everything about his dog. But most importantly, she wants to know the cause of death.

Response: He was very very old and tired. (I have no idea but it’s a fair assumption…)

3. What eats baby unicorns*?

*or any other creature, mythical or otherwise.

baby unicorn
Not a real one. Obviously.

Variations of this question are asked at least five times a day at the moment. From bowhead whales to bees, orangutans to orcas: if it lives and breathes (or even if it doesn’t), Little B wants to know by what creature it is likely to be eaten.

However, she most commonly asks about baby unicorns because my answers to this particular question have hitherto proved to be unsatisfactory, and that is because BABY UNICORNS DON’T EXIST SO NOTHING CAN EAT THEM BECAUSE THEY DON’T EXIST SO NOTHING CAN EAT THEM BECAUSE THEY. DON’T. EXIST.

Response: (As calmly as humanly possible) Lions probably would.

Well they probably would, wouldn’t they? If baby unicorns existed, that is. Which they don’t.

4. Is my brother real?

We had to clear this one up fairly quickly for obvious reasons. Little B made this spine-chilling enquiry a whole 5 months after we brought her brother home from the hospital. Further discussion with her revealed that for those 5 months, she had believed that her brother was some kind of toy. (I’m not joking.)

We immediately set about correcting her and making sure that she knew he was a real live human baby. And if her handling of Baby Annabel was anything to go by, her brother had a lucky escape.

Response: Erm…yes.

5. Why doesn’t Upsy Daisy have ears?

upsy daisy cbeebies in the night garden
Just your average lady – minus ears of course

Got you thinking, hasn’t it?

It appears that while Upsy Daisy may wear a skirt that inflates by pulling a cord, while she may chase her wheelie bed around a forest, have ridiculous hair and say nothing but ‘Upsy Daisy Daisy do’, the strangest thing about her, as Little B sees it, is that she has no ears.

Yes, if Little B was to bump into Upsy Daisy in the street, it would be the absence of her ears that she would find most intriguing.

I can only go with my instinct on this one and to be honest, if I was Upsy Daisy and had to spend every night of my life awake in the Night Garden, listening to Iggle Piggle’s ridiculous squeaking, Makka Pakka’s incessant clapping, and the Tombliboos frankly hideous attempts at making music, I probably would have ripped my own ears off by now.

Response: Maybe she did. Once.

So there are my top five baffling questions. Do your children love asking questions? What’s the strangest thing they’ve ever asked you? Do they ask the same questions over and over again to the point that you feel you may go the same way as Upsy Daisy? Let me know in the comments.

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24 thoughts on “Do mermaids wear pants? (And 4 other things I never thought I’d need to know)”

  1. Now you see I’m inclined not to agree with you about what eats baby unicorns. My logic is they must live in the deepest darkest forests which is why no one ever sees them. Therefore ita far more likely that gruffalows and dragons (who also live in the deepest darkest forests) eat baby unicorns.

    #abitofeverything
    Tracey A Abrahams recently posted…A Bit Of Everything Linky 8/05/19My Profile

    1. Ah but if I start introducing dragons, then I open myself up to ‘What eats dragons?’ and so it continues….. Lions are always a safe bet as she knows they don’t really have any predators unless they are very young, or sick (she’s checked that too!), so answering ‘lions’ usually stops the questioning. Usually but not always..!

        1. I think I’d agree, but we have enough animals/creatures on the go at the minute – I really don’t want her to start thinking about another one!

  2. I’ve posed the unicorn question to Lola as well, but I’m not sure she wants to address unicorn murder in her advice column. She did says it’s not lions though. #ABitOfEverything

    1. Oh but she should! And it’s not really murder, because they don’t exist in the first place, so she’s safe there. I’m sticking with lions for the time being anyway.

  3. Lol your answers are fantastic! I struggle with the question “why…….” and my answer is often “daddy will know that one, why don’t you go and ask him?” Am I a terrible mother? 🙂 #itsok

  4. My five year old daughter asks me so many questions per day that she really has the ability to reduce me to tears (normally I have wiped the little foundation I wear completely off my face by early evening from rubbing my face so many times in utter frustration!). It only occurred to me recently that she rarely ever speaks without putting her words into question form – she has this incredible ability to turn absolutely everything into a question. So I totally and utterly feel your pain! #itsok

    1. It’s so hard though isn’t it? Because you don’t want to stop them from being curious but sometimes the constant questioning can make you want to scream! And when you get the same question multiple times – have they even listened to your answers or are they just asking a question for the sake of asking a question and they don’t really care what the answer is…???

  5. Haha! Love your answers! Been there! My youngest son used to inundate me with questions that drove me crazy. He wouldn’t accept some of my answers and I had to be really creative until I came up with one that he would buy.

    #Kcacols
    Veronica Lee recently posted…Day 7 – AmsterdamMy Profile

    1. I’m glad it’s not just me! It’s taking all my patience at the minute. I’m hoping it’s a phase and that it will pass very soon!

    1. I was absolutely horrified. I suppose babies do look similar to baby dolls, so it could possibly be a bit confusing, perhaps? I have no idea. She knows he’s real now though!

    1. Haha, at least we know what unicorns eat now! I’m sticking with lions eating baby unicorns anyway as she seems to believe me – for the moment!

  6. The baby being a toy is classic (although I can imagine the shock you’ll must’ve felt when you’ll found out!!!). Kids imaginations (and questions) are just amazing – make you laugh and cry at the same time! Thanks for joining us on the #itsok linky!

  7. Why would she even think he wasn’t real though? It baffles me. I know I’ll look back and laugh at these questions in the future – probably when she stops asking so many of them!

  8. How have I never noticed that Upsy Daisy has no ears? I love how kids minds work, although my 3 yr old drove me crazy today arguing that his toy otter was a kangaroo!

  9. oh I miss the years of innocent questions. My son is 21 now the last question I had was “mum, I’m at this hotel with my girlfriend and there’s a string of anal beads in the bedside cabinet, what should I do?”
    My answer? “How do you know they’re anal beads?”
    Think yourself lucky, but be prepared!!!!! #alittlebitofeverything

  10. Oh my goodness, I wish I had thought to do this when my kids were younger. These are such interesting questions when you write them out like this. Yet, if I were to have to deal with them with my kids, I’d be feeling like I’d be crawling up a wall. Thank you for sharing! #KCACOLS

    Crystal Green recently posted…Different Types Of Hip PainMy Profile

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