Now, I’ve already written something about my less than fondness for September, but in hindsight, I think my rant was misplaced. You see, this year, October is really taking the mick.
Just to summarise our current position, late October: we are recovering from apple purgatory and now find ourselves slap bang in the middle of birthday hell, with regular parties to attend, presents to buy and presents to wrap. Christmas is looming on the horizon, as is Little B’s second birthday and the inevitable birthday cake baking fiasco, meaning that I lie awake each night contemplating how difficult it would be to model an Iggle Piggle out of fondant icing, and how many cake-baking practice runs I can get away with before causing a national egg shortage.
In addition and against my better judgement, I will also be voluntarily throwing a toddlers’ Halloween party on Monday, and as feared, the pumpkin table cloth ordered on Amazon has not yet arrived.
As you can see, I’m being kept quite busy at the moment, thank you very much. So, what I really didn’t need was for October to throw into the mix a chest infection for Little B, an evil head cold for me (as well as a 2 hour vomiting session which may or may not have had something to do with my over enthusiastic consumption of barbecue pop chips), and a requirement for my husband to work unprecedentedly long hours.
I’ll not lie, it has been a tough month. I have had no time to blog and my ironing pile is now less of a pile and more of a room. However, I have been here before and I am not taking this one lying down. I refuse to be beaten and I refuse to risk a repeat of last year when I spent October and November in a permanent state of cake-baking-present-buying hysteria, only then to become the unfortunate recipient of a free family pass to Gastroenteritis, complete with complementary one-night hospital stay.
Nope, this year I intend to embrace the power of positive thinking, attempt the art of prior planning, and focus on my health. In particular, I plan to do the following (possibly):
Practice making that birthday cake well in advance and know my limits
Just like last year, it would appear that I have again ridiculously overestimated my abilities and so rather than learning from prior experience and opting for a shop-bought cake for Little B’s birthday, I will be attempting the whole homemade shebang for a second time, whilst desperately trying to cling on to the remnants of my sanity. There is potential for it to end in tears. Again.
To minimise the inevitable trauma, my only option is therefore practice, practice, practice. I’m under no illusion that practice will make perfect. I’m just hoping that practice will make a cake. Of some sort.
Finish my Christmas shopping well before Christmas
Given that Christmas is supposed to be the season of goodwill, it really does bring out the worst in people, and it’s already started: there are hints of trolley barging in supermarkets; female shoppers have already begun passive-aggressively browsing the Boots 3 for 2 aisles while their husbands trail behind them, their wills to live having last been sighted at the perfume section in Debenhams. And things will only get worse.
This year I will not suffer the misery of last minute Christmas shopping. This year I will buy all my Christmas cards well in advance and before December. And this year, in no circumstances will I find myself in the fridge aisle of any Marks and Spencers store muttering threats of grievous bodily harm towards fellow shoppers. Not this year.
Make our house hygge
I’ve read about this hygge thing and I like the idea. I’m all for cosiness, and anything that purports to make Autumn slightly less rubbish than it already is, is worth a try in my opinion. Quite how I’ll manage to achieve a hygge home is another matter however. Nevertheless, it’s on my list, and the plan is to be hygged up to the eyeballs by Christmas.
Work on improving my diet (a little bit)
While the official line was that I had a stomach bug, I’m not entirely convinced that the excessive barbecue pop chip consumption did not in some way contribute to my 2 hour vomiting stint at 2am on that cold Wednesday night. Irrespective of whether or not the sickness was self-inflicted, there’s nothing like lying on your bathroom floor in the middle of the night to make you think that you should probably focus a little more on what you’re putting into your body and try to make healthier choices. It’s not that I don’t enjoy healthy food: I do. It’s just that I also enjoy chocolate and crisps. In large quantities. And in place of meals.
So these are my plans (for the moment, anyway). Wish me luck! I’ll let you all know how it goes, but if you don’t hear from me for a week or so, assume I’m sat in the corner of my kitchen clutching a bag of pop chips, while surrounded by miniature Iggle Piggles and copious amounts of wrapping paper and cake crumbs.
To be honest, it wouldn’t be the first time….