Toddler playing at baby club

The Baby Club, the Baby Club yeah…

If you know, you know.

Of course I’m talking about CBeebies’ The Baby Club. There is something about this programme that captivates both my 4 year old and 1 year old. Everything stops for The Baby Club. They can be immersed in play or a packet of Pom-Bears, but as soon as they hear the theme tune to The Baby Club, it immediately commands their attention. I have no idea what kind of sorcery it is, but I suspect the attraction is something to do with the fact that CBeebies’ The Baby Club is the baby club of dreams. It’s the kind of club that babies would aspire to join – if babies could aspire to join a club, that is.

Now, I wouldn’t call myself a baby club afficionado, but it has to be said that having had two children, I’ve been to quite a few baby groups in my time. Our experiences have so far been mostly positive, although I wouldn’t be telling the whole story if I didn’t mention our very first visit to a local toddler group where we witnessed a biting incident, swiftly followed by a full on expletive-riddled slanging match between a couple of parents, and the consequential barring of one very irate mother.

Yes, she was barred.

From a toddler group.

Of course, that was quite extreme, and most of the groups we’ve attended have been much more sedate. But, getting back to the topic, as a regular attendee at baby and toddler groups for the past 4 and a bit years, I’ve yet to come across anything quite like The Baby Club. And here’s why:

1. Everything at The Baby Club is just so clean

There is no dirt in The Baby Club. There are no soggy pieces of rice cracker lodged in the toys. No one is ever seen frantically scrubbing the rug (or themselves) with a wipe or a muslin because their baby has brought up their morning milk. There is no need to quietly panic as you watch your baby lift a rattle to their mouth in what feels like slow motion, potentially condemning you to a fortnight of family illness. And that is because everything will have been sterilised clean at The Baby Club.

Nope, there is no dirt and there are no germs in The Baby Club.  You can leave your Milton wipes at home.

2. The babies are well behaved

Not only are the babies never sick on the carpet, but I have yet to see any of the babies at The Baby Club cry all the way through the class. And consequently, no parent has ever shuffled out half way through the class, muttering ‘I might as well just take her home….don’t know why I even bother…’.

None of the babies protest at story time when the group leaders pick the most uninspiring book off the shelf. Despite all the appealing and colourful books, the group leaders are consistently drawn to the most boring looking books with either a stick, a sponge, or some other mundane household object on the cover. But still, no one complains.

Because everyone is simply happy and content in The Baby Club.

3. No one comes in late

Ok, sometimes there’s a token latecomer who strolls in casually a couple of minutes after The Baby Club has started, but that’s not what I mean by late. By late, I’m not talking ‘casual’ late, I’m talking ‘running with your hair stuck to your red sweaty face, changing bag swinging around your neck and baby in rugby ball hold’ late. Because we’ve all done it (well, I’ve done it), and it’s a normal part of attending a baby club (well, for me). But at The Baby Club, even the latecomers are serene.

Nope, there is no stress or panic in The Baby Club.

4. The parents wear clean clothes

Now I have paid close attention to this and can confidently state that no one attends The Baby Club wearing a sick or food stained jumper. I’d even go so far as to say that some of the parents appear to have made an effort before leaving the house. Some have possibly called in at the hairdressers en route.

I’m not saying that those of us who attend baby groups don’t take pride in our appearance. I’m just saying it’s a big ask to get to mid-morning without a smattering of Dairylea or Weetabix on your jeans.

5. The group leaders can sing

No one expects the leader of any baby group to be a perfect singer, but it helps if they’re not painful to listen to. There’s nothing quite like having to listen to ‘Old MacDonald’ being screeched at high volume by a tone deaf group leader who thinks that the louder, the better.

The singing in The Baby Club is tolerable.

Because of course it would be.

Because it’s the Baby Club.

The Baby Club, yeah…..


Do your little ones enjoy CBeebies’ The Baby Club? Have you noticed any differences between The Baby Club and the groups you attend with your children? Of course you have! Tell me all about them in the comments.


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36 thoughts on “The Baby Club, the Baby Club yeah…”

  1. Brilliant post had me laughing! My kids too are mesmerised by the baby club particularly the theme tune. Maybe I should start playing it when I want their attention! We used to go to a group and the leader really couldn’t sing it was really akward. #KCACOLS

  2. Ah you have nailed it on the head, I tried to watch it but felt vaguely weirded it out but wasn’t sure why, but yes they’re just too perfect. No mid song nappy emergency, or child completely ignoring the games

    1. Our 4 year old loves it too and I don’t know why! And we can’t say ‘what’s in the bag?’ in our house without bursting into song!

  3. This made me laugh, my thoughts on ‘The Baby Club’ exactly!
    I’m dying to see one of the parents running in late with a small child under arm, half it’s breakfast still smeared on it’s face and the other half smeared on the parents top. Both child and parents hair all over the place with parent effing and jeffing under their breath.
    Now that would be more realistic.

  4. Haha this made me chuckle because we’ve watched it a few times. And no vomit, no chewed toys – it’s fab! Lol re the biting incident and a parent being barred. made me LOL !

    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time!

    1. It’s still the weirdest baby and toddler group I’ve ever been too. Luckily my little girl was too small at the time to be able to pick up any of the swear words!

  5. I cannot tell you how relieved I am to have teenagers, even if my 16 year old comfort watches Peppa Pig between A Level Sociology and Psychology homework. I loathed toddler groups, far too noisy and out of control. Baby Club sounds like the perfect place, except they would never have allowed me in as I was always covered in second hand milk my eldest had spewed up x


    1. For all it’s a teensy bit inaccurate, it keeps my children amused for 10 minutes and so for that reason, I can’t dislike it!

  6. My daughters LOVE the baby club!! And as soon as it starts I quickly dart out of the room because it is far too much chirpiness for me…everyone is so jolly it’s nauseating. And the singing absolutely does my nut in. But my girls stare at it too so the only conclusion that I can come to is that they have lovely innocent children’s minds and we have cynical, skewed, tainted adult minds that just cannot cope with that amount of jollyness! So that is one show that I will never be sitting down to watch with them, they are on their own for that one! #dreamteam

  7. But hey, how can you knock something that keeps your smallies mesmerized while you have a tea or, luxury, an unaccompanied visit to the loo? Magic, that is. #GlobalBlogging

  8. I have only seen this programme once as the girls are now at school, but they were both transfixed. I on the other hand wanted to hurl something at the TV. It annoyed the hell out of me. The playgroup I ran was more full of mothers trying to support one another by preventing toddlers from battering one another with toys and providing caffeine… to the mummies not the babies 🙂 If baby groups were like this one I wouldn’t have gone to any as my boys would have had the place wrecked lol!! #DreamTeam

    1. Haha, me neither! I get nervous just watching it when I see how precisely all the toys and blocks have been placed on the shelves. Surely it’s all just an accident waiting to happen!

  9. I couldn’t read the title of this post without singing it! My Florence is also under their sorcery and I am forced to tickle and wiggle whilst wearing clothing that I most definitely not stain free!

    1. Argh!! Now I’ve got “tickle, wiggle, tickle, wiggle…..and end with a hug!” going around in my head! What is it with this programme?!

  10. My 3 don’t watch much ‘normal’ tv so we have missed this completely! I’ll be watching this home alone tomorrow so they can’t get addicted :0 Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama

    1. Ah, but if you let them watch it, they’re bound to be transfixed and you’re almost guaranteed to get 10 minutes’ peace a day!

  11. Ah, but if you let them watch it, they’re bound to be transfixed and you’re almost guaranteed to get 10 minutes’ peace a day!

  12. Is this available around the world for our global bloggers? Addictive songs and shows are like a rite of passage for kids and parents together. Thanks for linking up with #globalblogging

  13. Totally get this – I know all the words to all the songs & it drives me potty! I would also add that you never see a poonami explosion & no-one ever appears to be hung over either #MMBC

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